Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Wedding Week Countdown - Wednesday, a blessing in the mail

I received the most beautiful and wonderful gift in the mail today.

It was a letter from my half sisters mom. You see, my sister and I share the same mother, but my sister was put up for adoption (after someone turned my mother into DCF and said she was not fit to be a parent) before she was a year old. Thankfully this was a blessing to many, and she was adopted and raised by an amazing family. She was actually raised right here in Florida as well. Our parents kept and open line of communication, and pictures, and I always grew up knowing I had a sister out there that I would some day meet.

The letter I received today was memories my sisters adoptive mother shared of the day she met with our biological mother. She shared what my mother told her she thought was important to be a good mom, and what she wanted for her child. Reading it brought tears to my eyes. This letter is one of the most touching things I have ever read in my life. I can't express enough how grateful I am that these memories were shared with me, and right before my wedding day. I can now cherish them as I walk down the aisle.

When I called to thank her for writing me, I asked if I could have permission to blog about the letter and share her memories of what my mother told her, she said yes, so here we go:

"Ever since I was told you were getting married, I wanted to talk to you about your Mom. I know that you knew her well and cherish her memory. What I have to share is what she and I talked about before I adopted your sister - what she thought was important to be a good mom and what she wanted for her child. She had probably shared these things with you, but I thought it might create a special memory as you approach your wedding.

We were sitting in the sunroom of the Children's home with the Florida sun beaming through the window behind her. She held your sister - who was about nine months old at the time and talked about mothers and daughters. "I know what I want" she said simply "But I can't provide that now. Children, daughters especially, need to know how much they are treasured, what an amazing difference they can make in their Mom's life. They need warmth and security - but more than anything - they need love. There are some things I want for my daughter. I want her to know God - to have a faith to help her through hard times. I want her to love learning. It would be great if she goes to college, but it's more important that she always wants to improve herself - no matter how. I want her to respect others and to help people when they need it. I want her to have confidence so that she can stand up for herself when necessary. I want her to be the kind of person that others will look to for advice and help. I want her to know that love - hard as it is sometimes - gives your life meaning in a way you never imagined.

She was quiet for awhile - stroking your sisters hair. It was then that she asked me to adopt her baby. I have never in my life seen such selfless love. Your mother was such a special person and I know your missing her now. I hope I haven't upset you or been presumptuous about your relationship. I just know if I were in your place, I'd like to know what someone else thought of my mom and carry those memories in my heart on my wedding day. God Bless you, Sweetheart."

I teared up again typing it. Every time I read it, I tear up. Especially at the part about such a selfless love. I know how hard it was for my mom to give up my sister. I know how much she loved and missed her. I know because she told me. Many times. I tear up because as hard as it was for my mom, it was what was right for her at the time, and it was truly a blessing for my sister, to be adopted into such a loving family. I tear up because the words she spoke  are chilling as she installed all that into me. So, everything she believed a daughter should have, she WAS able to give me, a few years later. I tear up because though my mother didn't raise my sister, she picked the perfect family to do so as my sister was raised under all the wishes that my mother had. We both were very blessed. Everything about this letter is perfect and touches my heart in a way that it's not possible to understand. All I can say is just how thankful I am that these memories were shared with me.

 After I read the letter, I went out to the cemetery to drop off a laminated copy of the wedding invite and save the date. I incorporated yellow into the theme as it was her favorite color. 
I placed a rock on one half of the invite to keep it from blowing away
  I also snapped this picture which I thought was beautiful because of the wild flower/weed.

Man, what an emotional day. All I can say is Mommy I love you and miss you dearly, and be proud of the mother you were. All the wishes you had for your first daughter, she received, AND you were able to provide when you had me. <3



  1. now I am crying too.

    after reading the letter, i can say without a shadow of a doubt. your Mom would be so proud of you and the woman you've become.

    whenever I get frustrated with my mom, I always think of you and how much you miss your mom.

    <3 ~hugs~

  2. Thanks so much for the kind words <3 I think so too. Everything she wanted for a daughter, she provided me.

    Every time I see a girl going off on her mom at the store, I want to tell her to cherish the moments while she can.