Sunday, May 8, 2011

Dear Mommy...

I don't think I told you enough while you were here with me just how much I Love(d) You. And just how proud I am that God chose me to be YOUR daughter. While you never took the credit you deserved, you did so much for me, gave up so much of your life, for me. And I am so appreciative. I wish I wouldn't have been so blind and naive as a child, and seen the sacrifices you made as they happened, so I could have thanked you in person. I am so proud of you, and everything you accomplished. Though I didn't tell you often enough, you were a wonderful mother, and with the way I acted as a bratty child, I probably didn't deserve your kindness. You definitely didn't deserve the way I treated you.

My heart aches as mother's day has come again, and again, I went to visit you at the cemetery. I miss you more than words can describe. There are so many life experiences I want to share with you. When I see the close relationship some mothers and daughters have, my heart aches, yet at the same time, smiles. I smile because I know if you were still here with me, we'd be the best of friends, and share everything together. I love you Mommy, and know that even though I may feel empty sometimes, I know I am not, that you, are my specialist of Guardian Angels, watching over me now, just as you did when I was a child.

I love you Mommy.

I will again quote a letter I received from my half sisters adoptive mother, detailing the day she met my mother:
"We were sitting in the sunroom of the Children's home with the Florida sun beaming through the window behind her. She held your sister - who was about nine months old at the time and talked about mothers and daughters.  "I know what I want" she said simply"  But I can't provide that now. Children, daughters especially, need to know how much they are treasured, what an amazing difference they can make in their Mom's life. They need warmth and security - but more than anything - they need love. There are some things I want for my daughter. I want her to know God - to have a faith to help her through hard times. I want her to love learning. It would be great if she goes to college, but it's more important that she always wants to improve herself - no matter how. I want her to respect others and to help people when they need it. I want her to have confidence so that she can stand up for herself when necessary. I want her to be the kind of person that others will look to for advice and help. I want her to know that love - hard as it is sometimes - gives your life meaning in a way you never imagined.

She was quiet for awhile - stroking your sisters hair. It was then that she asked me to adopt her baby. I have never in my life seen such selfless love. Your mother was such a special person and I know your missing her now."

I am so grateful that these memories were shared with me. I will forever cherish them. They bring a smile to my face, knowing that while my mom could not provide everything she wanted to, to her first daughter, that she was able to provide all that, and more to me. I hope she realizes that everything believed a daughter should have, I did.

As Mother's Day winds down here on the east coast, I hope each and every one of you have had a blessed day, and that you showed all the special ladies just how much you love them and appreciate them, and don't just do it today, because it's Mother's Day, show them every day, because you mean it.

Mommy & Me :) <3



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